Back to Normal…
Lately the big thing I have noticed in my life is the normal the “status quo”, or the familiar is not always the “normal” I am really wanting - for a few years now I have strived to make changes in my life, from my dealings with anxiety, a hint of anti-social behavior, traveling, and of course my favorite - meeting with clients - so definitely the normal behavior of hiding out in my cave has changed, but some things always seem to go back to what’s considered “normal”.
This week has some things in store for me, a server project, working on a website project which has taken a lot of time for code, design, and learning an entirely new development platform, namely flash - but I find myself falling back on my old habits, and going towards what is familiar and common to me, not venturing past the normal thing I know onto other ventures - but I am trying to, and I dare to quote ZeFrank - “break that cycle” - to get out of old habits, to get out of things I’ve done so long they are common place in my life, from a spiritual standpoint its a perfect description of sin, that little ol secret sin one has (you know that one…) - that silly little thing that temptation rears its head and says “Oh it won’t hurt anymore” - we all have those in our daily lives (how many coffees was that today? or why were you telling at that driver?) its not huge, in all cases, but its that little secret bit.
Lately I find myself desiring change, desiring a larger income to cover some bills, get a place, etc. you know, the little things 
but at the same time I have to break some common cycles I have which are saying “oh its not a problem, I can do that” and not only challenge myself, but challenge those who claim I am worth my weight in gold, and see if they are willing to help me out even with a 10th of that weight - to saying no to friends when I am simply too tired, to know my physical limits, but not also being afraid to push those limits now and again and see what these sore bones are capable of - this is the first night in a few weeks where I have been up past 9:25pm 
But I’d really appreciate your prayers for me, I know there are some changes going on with me, some that I finally just let into that I have been fighting against, some I needed to have happen, and some that happened because I was just pushed beyond my limits and unable to hold back the flood gates - a lot is in the works, a lot is on my plate, and sometimes being a single man business can be tough, but hopefully, things will level out here soon, and that balance I am always looking to find, will be found.
Anywhoo - eyes are starting to close, so it must be time, go see Transformers, well worth the money - and if I don’t get a chance to blog tomorrow, happy 4th of july. I know you don’t all comment, but I know a few of you who read regularly to see what’s going on in my ol crazy world I call life, thanks for reading. Night.
