Step forward, prepare to be slapped.

Ever just want to go up to someone and just slap em? I mean seriously. ugh.

Today was going good, but as my calls to various folks seemed to be on the ol “DND” bit, I ventured out - I really wish I had just stayed home and took a nap. My anger has been big lately, not even sure why, but it got taken to another level tonight, just a lot of things adding up, and I think it’s coming to a head for me to make a choice, but it’s a choice I don’t like having to make, and it’s when enough is enough, and I need to take a turn in life and avoid just further frustration, stress, and disrespect.

I dunno, I know I am tired, I know I am just anxious to get my finances back on track, but this problem is on going, respect is given, but rarely received back from this situation, I dunno - I’d say more but I know my blog has slowly but surely picked up the eye of others, and this is something I really need to discuss with them before the rest of the world, but its honestly - just really frustrating that in a field I’ve been working in for 15+ years, I get respect only on 1 area - servers, and that’s getting old, I do like servers, but I also like a little bit of mixing it up with code, layout, etc. and on top of that, I just continually feel taken advantage *shrug* I dunno, again, just ranting.

So I am unsure of what I am going to do, I’ve been slow to speak on it because of the anger bit, as what I could normally talk about rationally and maybe work something out could quickly burst in to flames and die a horrible death - lol - but maybe getting angry is just something I need to do about this, show how much it frustrates me (with a hint of added anger) and see what happens, part of me already has an idea, and that’ll simply be me out of the picture, playing this game this long, always turns out the same for me, when I decide that my being nice is getting taken advantage of and stand up for myself, I am more or less tossed away like a used napkin.

Anywhoo - that’s my brain, just so tired of all the BS, tired of going into what used to be a pleasant place to visit and hear the F word dropped 45 times within a 4 minute period - I can understand some swearing now and again, but when it’s the 3rd popular word in your vocabulary? I mean come on - more and more the 9/5 job looks more and more appealing. Anyone need a linux administrator, who knows a little bit of Windows/Mac too? well that’s all I’ve got, I am going to go flip on the TV, watch some shows and pass out hoping that tomorrow will be waiting with a smile on it’s face and a handful of money. Night all.