tired, on empty, need a vacation, need a life.

I love wind. Something about a windy night that is peaceful especialy after a ‘odd’ weekend. Odd feelings, odd dreams, odd life I have here for myself.

Just really considering a lot of things in life right now - seems to happen a lot more lately than ever before in my life. Just a lot of things to consider - choices, both those made already, and ones coming up. What to think/do about dreams I have had - as in one recently a person I really don’t know to well aside from reading their blog ocasionally and the ocasional email, in the dream they were crying, really upset about something, and I was in a house I had never seen before, and a lot of peopel there who had no idea who I was, only people who seemed to be okay with me were the person and kids staying there. Oddness to say the least.

Life - just so much on the plate, I don’t want to end up like my old boss, just burning out over silly things, trying to wrap up projects, but due to some mis-scheduling I am behind as one client I thought I was done with, has a pile of work they keep re-shoveling on me, while I am trying to get some of the projects I had picked up thinking I was done with client A - but I don’t want to let either slip - nor can I afford to hire additional help yet - soon, but I think first thing’s first, I need a break, I need a long weekend, I need to get away from the ‘norm’ and really just get away - but funding is tight (as always) so it may be a while, just feel really tired, like I am running a marathon, and the finish line is no where in sight.

Personal life is still a work in progress, the office definately helps me get out of the house, have seen a lot of old friends from High School, heck some have tracked me down online through MySpace, but its just one of those things, just going to take work to eventually find a group of people to hang with, most people are dealing with the ’summer push’ teacher friends are wrapping up the school year, friends who work similar fields as me are having family things - but tottally understandable, I have a wedding next week I am invited to, thought it was this weekend, but just another example how life is getting away from me.

I just really need a break, probably not going to pick up any projects for a while, means no extra money in the pocket, but I just need to get settled in the office, settled in a new patter of getting work done, and get the finances stable, and a little more ‘tax prep’ friendly - just crazy times, and I appriciate the prayers, and those who have given me encouragement online I do appriciate it, heck those in general who IM just to say hi - nice to actually chat about life/happenings.

Well I need to get some things done before I crash in a bit, just a long weekend, and I feel sick so once wrapped up I am definately going to goto bed and get some good sleep. Night folks.