Archive for 'my church soap box'
This morning started off rough, few misc. moments of fear, a few points there where I thought “Oh Geeze!” and things just seemed to sort of pile up, a client complaint, a client who didn’t understand “re-occuring billing” - just a few things I really let get to me, and the one joy with sharing a house with a pastor (aka my dad) is that he peeks in now and again and knows when things are crazy.
Once things cooled down we got to talking, and one thing that came up as we talked out what was going on in our lives was a typical thing I hear from folks, both Christian & Non-Christian - “How could you!? I thought you were a CHRISTIAN!!!!” a classic line, I have heard it from the non-believer a lot in business dealings “So that’s how your going to play it? *insert line here*” and it was on something simple like a business choice, a call I made, standing my ground and not just letting a bill ($100+) slide under the table, because that’s what Jesus would do.
But getting it from other Christians is just plain sad. As Christians we should be compassionate, caring, friendly, and great talkers at parties - but it never said we had to be a coward and give to every whim someone has to somehow PROOVE we are a good christian - all were doing is letting someone other than Christ control our actions/life.
I admit, there are times God’s just nudged “Just do that, walk away” and I have followed, heck there have been times I have known and done the oppisite (my Jonah Complex), only to pay the price, but Christian isn’t some greek work that translates into “Floor Mat” - I have let it though in my time, working for CMCentral.com I think sometimes I said “Yes” a lot to go above and beyond, be a blessing, and stand in the gap if something was lacking, and to Mike Janke, I would like to publically say “Sorry for stepping on your toes” - Mike was a new senior editor, trying to work the forums, and I sort of stepped in, and pushed a bit, may not of seemed like it to Mike, but I do feel bad about it - but I look back at my time @ CMC and really see where I could of, and should of, said NO - and if meant I wasn’t good enough to work for the site, walked away and never looked back - not that CMC ever DEMANDED it of me, but rather never stopped me from doing it as it benefited them, but in the end - twas my choice.
But there in lies what some say is a “awesome spirit of giving” and others say is my “greatest weakness” - I tend to give myself to something fully, 192.4% (I know that’s not a real precentage) - and just really give all I could, like my time at JesusShack here in town, went, and went, and went, and it took me unplugging overheated PC’s and placing them in the middle of a room to cool off for the night to have a “talk” with the head hancho, and decide it was time to go, was it a pretty phone call to get when they found the PC’s in the morning unplugged? No - but it really pushed me to move on.
What am I saying? Well if your a believer, your a Child of the King, your royalty, and you can use the blessing the Lord gives you (time, talents, treasures) to better things, but beware of those who would abuse those 3T’s (copyright Ron Brown 1998-2006) for their own uses, and until your exhausted, because in my experience, 9/10 after you put your foot down and say no, or your too tired to be useful, you are thrown away, and that’s a sad way to be treated as a human in general.
So take off that “I’m a Floormat” sign from your forehead, and use your time wisely, and learn to say “No”, it may be hard and you may think your letting someone down, but it can lead you to what God would truly have for you in your life, and if that person can’t understand the boundry of Ministry vs Business, Friendship vs Slave Labor, then maybe it’s time to re-evaluate that relationship anyway.
Well today ended a chapter in companies I have worked for - the previous chapter in this saga ended when I sent a email like I did yesterday to this client, we then agreed it was probably a good idea for me to leave, which at the time I really had mixed feelings, but now I have had more freetime, more jobs, more stuff to keep me busy - same thing this time, and welcomed with a message towards the end which said:
“As far as doing future business with you, I’m sure you can understand that at this point I would not exactly feel comfortable with that, but that seems to be your intent.”
Well in the last few months they had “one more thing” for me to do, I did it, and in doing that I recieved the same treatment I got while working there, always “This is your fault, fix it” even about a week ago I got an email about something that had been how it was for over 3 years was somehow my fault - and I needed to drop everything and work on it - so I did what I did at the end of the previous chapter, and stood my ground on a issue, could I of done “one more nice thing” sure I suppose, but with folks like this, one more thing leads into a lot more, so it was stand my ground now, or be lost in endless freebies, even a recent quote which I cut the prices as low as I could go, and they came back “How about…” and shaved off $100 from the job, even after me saying “Hey, best deal I can give you”.
I have dealt with this 2 times now in dealing with Christian “Ministries” - I don’t say that to mark all Christians, as I do business with many other Christians ministries/business owners, etc. and no problems, just so far 2 groups have really stuck it to me, using every ounce of freebie I’d offer, then when I say no, or am too tired to continue, say “Well brother… its time” - sad stuff, gives Christians another stumbling block with people who look at Christians already in a poor light.
A lot has changed in me since I originally started with this company, and from talking to employees I worked with in the past there, and even currently, its just common place stuff, heck in both instances I talked with people who had similar experiences like mine, but for me I think I came to realize it even more when I started to branch out from sitting in front of a terminal 24/7 and focusing a bit on having a life away from the screen - and instead of screen names used to identify people, I looked at faces and said “Oh hey!” over a pizza, drinks at Sonic, etc.
But life goes on I suppose, there is one check still supposedly enroute to me, and I think I am going to tear it up, and wish them well (it’s for software purchase) - but it’s sad stuff, and life must move forward - its sad but this will probably continue, but I do pray it does not, and instead of just offering a blessing, thrust it upon them even if they say “No it’s no problem” - it’s one of those things I try to live by, Bless Others - I mean God Blesses me, who am I not to share that blessing, if only every one followed that the world would be a happier place - one could say I am not living that by saying “No” to this client, but honestly a ministry which simply uses up Christians and spits them out, thats not a good thing.
Anywhoo - back to my light Friday, first mellow day this week, and I am going to use it to clean and file some paperwork. Have a Good Friday Folks & A Great Weekend!
Sometimes the concept of Church bothers Me - growing up in a highly involved church family, I served in church from the time I was old enough to carry the offering plate - range of serving, range of things I did by my choice, and the ocasional I did to stand in the gap, but today I got the call that just really kind of irked me about church.
A pastor who is a friend of the family, more or less told me my idea of learning about God, about sharing, about fellowshiping with people of like faith was more or less silly, he in turn then switched into “pitch” mode, not “pray about it” but - “you know….” telling me that I needed to be at HIS church - don’t get me wrong, I am sure I could find somewhere to serve there, but honestly I enjoy the quiet time in prayer/bible study, the good conversations of faith with Friends, and sharing with folks how God is Good. I realize from what I have heard from other members at his church is he wants me to stand in the gap to take load off him from playing the piano, possibly sing, and re-vamp their computer layout - which is fine, but ask me to help, don’t demand things of me, don’t tell me I MUST come to your church - I don’t mind helping, but I honestly don’t feel any connection there like I have at other churches growing up - so its not a prime choice for a home church.
Life in Christ is being Alive, a new birth, a new life, not shackling yourself to a pew, not sitting in the same butt groove you have made in the pew over the years — Life is about living — I have spent many years sitting in a pew, I loved listening to my Grandfather, My Father, Various other awesome ministers around town, but right now I don’t feel called to become a “MEMBER” anywhere, I am definately going to try to hop around more soon, but just like with my business, I don’t mind doing a task for someone if they ask, but beating around the bush is silly - plain and simple.
For years I haven’t really lived, I sat behind a PC, worked, slept, worked, slept, worked, slept - you get the idea, in the last 2 years God has really helped me with Good Friends, Good Fellowship, and Grace to get past many of my anxieties, many of my holdups, many things which have held me back from Truly living, so who knows, maybe that’s what this road trip is leading up to, maybe I am to travel around, help Churches revamp tech - you just never know! All in God’s Time, while I wish that was sooner sometimes, I can only rely on him for it all, like my relationships both Friendship and Romantic, both Business and Pleasure, everything in HIS time, HIS timetable for my life is the only way to Life, and thus Truly Living.
Lately around town, I have heard the whispers that our fair town is going to crap, rise in crime, tagging, and throw in a natural distaster or two, a lot of people seem to be living on fear vs faith - one thing I have heard is that in a paraphrased form of what everyone has said “God is angry, and he’s gonna do some mad-ass smackdown” - our local dam has a crack and a earthquake could cause it to break and flood the area, and I’d probably be midly soggy.
Though I hear these things said, and they are presented in fear, fear, fear, fear - they always throw in a bit about how more people are going to Church, and yet this doom-and-gloom style stuff continues, and while I know many churches are preaching we are in the “last days” while that may be the case, I don’t think FEAR should be the ultimate motivator in leading folks to Christ, like many choices in Christian life I don’t think we should allow fear or tradition control how we live our life.
I have been in charge of music at a few churches I have gone to, my background in vocal and instrumental music always got me easily voted in - but my views on things didn’t always keep people happy with me, I had a saying about “Special” music that was sometimes brought during Sunday service - I said “If it happens every week, how is it special?” this has not always set well with some people who were in my singing groups - the classic church road block especially of coming into a church I didn’t grow up in, was “But Chuck, we’ve always done it that way, it’s part of the service” but then call it “Mid-Morning Song” the word is “Special” and it should be treated as such, not just because its ALWAYS been done should you throw in a tape and read the lyrics from the tape insert, but because God’s touched your heart with a message, with a song, and its bursting from you, not only that but you’ve polished it, you’ve learned it, and its awesome - truly special to not only you, but to those listening - and to God.
I guess my views on Church, my faith, and such are a tad different than some, I was raised in a very “involved” family in the church, from my Grandfather’s Church as a kid, to my dad’s - and while some people would say “Ah, typical PK” - I recall me and my siblings going to a PK Retreat as kids, and it was the stupidest thing I have ever gone to - couselors at the camp were more or less telling us it was alright to hate our dads, and every other kid was complaining about - and this was my laugh of the time there “My dad just out of no where called me to take the offering!” - wow. So harsh that dad of yours - I guess service was raised in me from a young age - but I always wondered what those kids parents wrote them as fathers were to write their kids a letter, which we got while we were away, my dad wrote me a letter which I have to this day, and it wasn’t an apology for making me take the offering, it was encouragement, love, and his view of me growing up.
So were am I going with this post? Grace. God isn’t about raining down fire on our fair little town, but if its what it takes to bring about repetance, then he will use it I suppose, but grace when it comes to God is key. I mean we all deserve death, we all are in sin, born into a world filled of it, but grace is key, grace is what saves us, grace God freely gives - and maybe why I read Jonah again recently - but in this time and issues in Bako this scripture stuck out:
Jonah 4 (The Message)
“I Knew This Was Going to Happen!”
1-2 Jonah was furious. He lost his temper. He yelled at God, “God! I knew it—when I was back home, I knew this was going to happen! That’s why I ran off to Tarshish! I knew you were sheer grace and mercy, not easily angered, rich in love, and ready at the drop of a hat to turn your plans of punishment into a program of forgiveness! 3” So, God, if you won’t kill them, kill me! I’m better off dead!”
4 God said, “What do you have to be angry about?”
5 But Jonah just left. He went out of the city to the east and sat down in a sulk. He put together a makeshift shelter of leafy branches and sat there in the shade to see what would happen to the city.
6 God arranged for a broad-leafed tree to spring up. It grew over Jonah to cool him off and get him out of his angry sulk. Jonah was pleased and enjoyed the shade. Life was looking up.
7-8 But then God sent a worm. By dawn of the next day, the worm had bored into the shade tree and it withered away. The sun came up and God sent a hot, blistering wind from the east. The sun beat down on Jonah’s head and he started to faint. He prayed to die: “I’m better off dead!”
9 Then God said to Jonah, “What right do you have to get angry about this shade tree?”
Jonah said, “Plenty of right. It’s made me angry enough to die!”
10-11 God said, “What’s this? How is it that you can change your feelings from pleasure to anger overnight about a mere shade tree that you did nothing to get? You neither planted nor watered it. It grew up one night and died the next night. So, why can’t I likewise change what I feel about Nineveh from anger to pleasure, this big city of more than 120,000 childlike people who don’t yet know right from wrong, to say nothing of all the innocent animals?”
I think a lot of Christian’s have devloped this Jonah additude here in Bako, I am not trying to sit here and say EVERY Christian is in this mix, but many are, God calls us to a work, to a task, and says “Go here, do this” and we get this expectation of EXACTLY God is going to do, but God saw that the people of Nineveh had a change of heart, that they heard his warning of his anger towards them, but in their change of heart he extended grace, and in all honesty Jonah was a instrument of allowing that grace to happen, and yet he ran from it because of how he felt about the people in Nineveh, he ran from the chance to give warning and offer a chance for a 180 from their current way of life - because he didn’t want to allow for grace, so God gave him a view of grace with the tree he provided, and followed up with the Worm - showing in the end its God’s choice what happens, and faith in him is truly the best course.
So this coming week, issue grace to someone, think of how many times you have been alloted grace for the thing your currently getting hot under the collar for, and extend a break to someone, even if they don’t deserve it, if it’s a waitress who just spilled ketchup on your new white shirt, its just a shirt - it can be washed, restored, and renewed just good as new - or if someone cuts you off on the road, instead of yelling “$$@#!#$!@# driver!” say a prayer for the person’s safety - feel no one has ever cut you slack in similar issues, so you don’t need to offer those same graces? Well humor me, issue them anyway, and see how people react, see how you feel - God has issued all of us great graces for areas of our life, who are we not to extend similar grace to others - respect grace given, and grace recieved, its a gift, and a life changing thing.
Have a Good Weekend Folks. Probably a personal blog later tonight.
I manage a Christian website or two, one of the forums I help moderator / administrate has had a online predator in the past, and yes – he was a Christian, and definately had his share of problems and was banned from the site. Now after a few months of thinking it was over he pop’d up and started his old tricks again – chatting with girls, questionable subject matter, but we found the name he was using and have blocked his IP/SN hoping that will curb his activities once again – well if its starts up this next time I will be contacting the college campus he goes to and informing them of the things which have been reported and let them handle it from there.
I hate having to be the tattle tale, that was the kid who was always beat up in school, the one guy who thought he would come clean with who did what to get everyone in the room in trouble, however in this case as we have younger viewers using the site with their parent’s permission the last thing I want is a 8 year old having some type of erotic conversation with someone.
Geeze what kinda of world do we live in now days? Sad stuff.
Posted on 1 October '03 by Chuck Brown, under my church soap box. 1 Comment.
