I should probably be asleep or trying to get to sleep, however just too much on my mind - Money is tight, which seems to be my constant posting these days, just odd, how one day everything is up and up, and then the next, 5 bills hit at once, and whammo. Back to square one. This month though, I am not looking for rescue from my parents, as much as I’d love to have them help out (I know they would) I need to get this under control - I’ve cut back spending galore, heck trying to cut a few more things, but never seems to be enough.
Seems at least to me that I make exceptions for folks, customers I bend the rules for, friends I go above and beyond for, and time and time again it seems, all I get in return is broken promises from some, no respect from others, but then I have those I am thankful for and then some, the friends who’d give me the shirt off their backs if I asked - good friends are truly a thing I need more of anymore, they help me keep my sanity in this rough patch.
But with all that said, I am trying to remain hopeful. I dunno, I keep asking myself the age ol question “Who am I?” and while I have folks telling me that I am the 9-5 IT guy, the server guy, the computer nerd, etc. I keep finding myself asking the question late in all this oddness of things, and so far no reply, but sometimes you just have to wait for that answer to come I suppose.
Keep my dad in your prayers, he goes in Friday for a CT Scan of his head doctor says he has swelling, which is probably his sinuses, he’s always had problems with them, but this is a new guy and so far he’s been jumpy about everything, so we shall see - but also keep me lifted up, I am hoping for the best in all of this, that they’ll be some light at the end of the tunnel that isn’t a train, but again… time will tell. Happy Tuesday folks.
So as one who spends a lot of time at a computer, something to watch/listen to is a nice thing to have on hand for the long days, the late nights, etc. so I have various apps aside from the common ones like iTunes, Youtube, Google Vide, etc. two of which are in a strange “spat” of sorts, a open-source app called Miro has started a campaign against another content provider Joost comparing them as equals, however in my mind they are nothing alike, but they simply use a similar “Internet Television” theme.
Joost Is - A free application which gives you TV over the internet, this is not to be confused with the Web2.0 hype word of “Internet TV” which most consider things like Podcasts, Videoblogs, Youtube etc. the service carries classic TV, new shows, and specials, with a few random internet series thrown in, but its real strength is commercial content to your desktop with limited commercials.
Joost is NOT - A RSS feed reader, a “free content” provider, the service is geared to work with large companies, I mean take CBS for example - its not INTERNET TV it’s TV over the Internet.
Miro has for some reason taken up a stance against Joost, one can only imagine it is due to users jumping the Miro ship and heading to Joost for more select content to choose from, however as a “Internet TV” tool Miro is still pretty handy for all your Video Podcast/Video Blogs that are out there - Miro should just work harder to streamline their own content line-up and methods of searching HD/Free content that’s readily available on the internet, and continue to form alliance with web providers like Blip.tv who has embedded the app into their video player - gets folks a convenient desktop method for content.
If your looking for classic TV and random shows/cartoons/movies - give Joost a whirl, if your wanting to find new internet shows and original content not owned by “the man” then head to Miro, both have a place, and should hug and find happier ground.
Ever just want to go up to someone and just slap em? I mean seriously. ugh.
Today was going good, but as my calls to various folks seemed to be on the ol “DND” bit, I ventured out - I really wish I had just stayed home and took a nap. My anger has been big lately, not even sure why, but it got taken to another level tonight, just a lot of things adding up, and I think it’s coming to a head for me to make a choice, but it’s a choice I don’t like having to make, and it’s when enough is enough, and I need to take a turn in life and avoid just further frustration, stress, and disrespect.
I dunno, I know I am tired, I know I am just anxious to get my finances back on track, but this problem is on going, respect is given, but rarely received back from this situation, I dunno - I’d say more but I know my blog has slowly but surely picked up the eye of others, and this is something I really need to discuss with them before the rest of the world, but its honestly - just really frustrating that in a field I’ve been working in for 15+ years, I get respect only on 1 area - servers, and that’s getting old, I do like servers, but I also like a little bit of mixing it up with code, layout, etc. and on top of that, I just continually feel taken advantage *shrug* I dunno, again, just ranting.
So I am unsure of what I am going to do, I’ve been slow to speak on it because of the anger bit, as what I could normally talk about rationally and maybe work something out could quickly burst in to flames and die a horrible death - lol - but maybe getting angry is just something I need to do about this, show how much it frustrates me (with a hint of added anger) and see what happens, part of me already has an idea, and that’ll simply be me out of the picture, playing this game this long, always turns out the same for me, when I decide that my being nice is getting taken advantage of and stand up for myself, I am more or less tossed away like a used napkin.
Anywhoo - that’s my brain, just so tired of all the BS, tired of going into what used to be a pleasant place to visit and hear the F word dropped 45 times within a 4 minute period - I can understand some swearing now and again, but when it’s the 3rd popular word in your vocabulary? I mean come on - more and more the 9/5 job looks more and more appealing. Anyone need a linux administrator, who knows a little bit of Windows/Mac too? well that’s all I’ve got, I am going to go flip on the TV, watch some shows and pass out hoping that tomorrow will be waiting with a smile on it’s face and a handful of money. Night all.
Toast - it’s the breakfast of champions. Been quite a morning, just got offered a house to rent for $500 (3 bdrm, 1 bath) pretty sweet deal, thought its all teetering on another property, long story more later, I just got an alert that a file had been uploaded to the /tmp folder on a server, checked it out, thankfully no-execute permissions, and /tmp is mounted noexec - so both big pluses - did some checks around the system, things look clean - so PTL for that - but the site my guess got nix’d by its CMS, which is highly highly outdated, but for now site is suspended, and waiting to hear back from the owner, I really want to move up to PHP5, Sushion, and SuPHP.
Got a call last night from the kMan about a emergency project with a movie company, really a hotfix, but invoice-able time so fun more so than the usual project as of late, but got it all squared away - made some money, so can’t complain too much, but I did get sleep last night, which I am very happy I did as when I’m on lack of sleep, and things like a site get hacked, tends to kick me into hyper-stress mode, thankfully I got in, removed the file, suspended the account, did the quick audit, so happy to have a cool head this early AM.
So quite a start to a monday, I do want to take a nap now (been up since 5am) but the day presses on, some PHP work is on the agenda, going to utilize some PHP5 magic & modules, so hopefully nothing else huge jumps up and bites me… unless it pays well, I may have a house to rent here soon
So last night was a long one. Then it was followed up with a far too early start to more or less tell me what the emails I sent out said were possible glitches, but since no one was warned about the migration (not my servers/clients mind you) - I was woke up to deal with PHP5 issues… yay! It was all tiny stuff, but it required some research on why each app broke under PHP5, granted I could of stayed PHP4, but the core goal of this migration was to ensure a “Rock Star”’s website was functional in the morning and fully migrated without a hitch - that meant the migration of 3GB of data, email, etc. but in the end, I had to go PHP5 as it was coded in PHP5, and the new server is now upgraded to PHP5 + Apache 2.2 - and somehow I imagine there are still bugs to be told.
The rest of my day was more or less shot from that point out, I still need to do some things, but I think I am going to try and just pass out here soon, as tomorrow I have a bank run, mail run, and CompUSA run (checking to see if they’ll have leopard next friday) - but it seems like it’ll all go smoothly I think, just sleep being the key thing I need to take care of, but this is one thing for sure - no more mid-week migrations unless I am getting paid a MASSIVE amount of money, as it washes me out for a few days.
Well that’s really about it - a mini-vent, hopefully tomorrow’s various runs around town will result in some additional funds in the bank, a few check customers have been slow as of late - I also need to see about getting a PO Box for real - something closer to me that’s easy to check any and all hours of the day vs. driving across town to go check mail for nothing - but thats another blog for another day another time etc. I am going to go now, lay my head on my pillow, and fade away into a restful night’s slumber. Night folks.
So going threw my feeds this morning, TUAW reported on a bit about the new iPod’s - they don’t support video out without a special $50 cable from Apple, I am hoping this is just a bad bad bad joke, or the new cable best support something REALLY fancy, that is one of the things I had hoped to do with a iPod, take some of the flicks I have and watch em on my TV, but if that is not possible with the new model, and the cable I currently own won’t work, then I am leaning towards CompUSA’s recently discounted 80GB last gen iPods, as it’ll still work there.
Busy busy - Today was just one of those days, wished a lot more had been done, wish some things had not taken up some of my time, but such is life I suppose - I have a lot on my mind, and with that sometimes my ability to reason and be rational about situations goes out the window, I sat down for a little over an hour to watch some recorded TV, let me relax a bit - but still just a temporary escape.
Some things happened good, server client paid today, so that’s a plus, no having to scrounge for funds or kill a server, got a check in the mail I wasn’t expecting… sure sure it’s for $15 but hey - that’s eat’n money I had hoped for another positive talk about business, but it never seemed to happen, it was one up’d by a site getting hacked that belongs to local government, and having to do some disabling of it and get it temporarily cleaned up, but even there, some more work to come.
I would ask of you all who read this to keep me in your prayers, as of late I feel like I am on the edge of a big step in life, big changes, big adjustments - some things like an apartment, job, etc. all are big parts, but I dunno, that is one thing in my mind lately I have been throwing around that whole “ah life” bit, trying to figure out what I’m here for as sometimes while I do love helping folks, I feel like a rag doll, just tossed around then left by the wayside - people who claim I am as I have said before “worth your weight in gold!” I sure sometimes that folks only say that to keep me happy and part of the team but its all part of this change I think, I dunno, just lately I feel different, aside from sleep deprived (that’s nothing new) I just feel like I just have to go a little further and it’ll be to a next step. I guess time will tell.
For now I will say my usual “Anywhoo…” and log off, I want to hit the bathroom, then head up the mountain, hoping to enjoy the calm, the breeze, and possibly the chance to see 2 moons in the sky during this lunar eclipse. So thanks in advance for the prayers, more later.
well that’s all I’ve got, I am going to go flip on the TV, watch some shows and pass out hoping that tomorrow will be waiting with a smile on it’s face and a handful of money. Night all.
but its all part of this change I think, I dunno, just lately I feel different, aside from sleep deprived (that’s nothing new) I just feel like I just have to go a little further and it’ll be to a next step. I guess time will tell.
