Hope.

Lately, in this wacky world we live in, I don’t see a lot of hope. Some blame our president, some blame a skin color, some blame God, some blame the person next to them. Honestly? It’s my fault. It’s your fault. We have all lost hope.

Our previous president was embodied as “Hope” – it was hope for change, it was hope for the future. For many of his followers, that hope he created, quickly went away when he left office, but after all, things said and done he was and is just a man. If you misplaced hope in someone who could fail. Who had a limited time in power, who may of went left instead of sticking right, we’re all human! It happens.

Do you want to see a better world? Want to see things better? Don’t expect the current president to fix it for you. He isn’t your hope, nor is he your destroyer. He’s a man. Flawed, broken, and too is going to make good things, and bad things. Not here to debate what he’s done good or bad – because as with anyone on the left, right or middle can say about ANY president – but Trump isn’t my hope nor was Obama.

Lately, I find myself looking for hope in what intake into my mind, my heart, my life. From stories to music, and I find myself in stories of hope, all of which start with us looking to the light, not towards the dark – that never-ending battle of good over evil. The Machine vs. Samaritan (Person of Interest), Kevin doing for others (Kevin Probably Saves the World), Crowder singing about where his hope is in the song above, to Mercy Me telling us in the dark, we can hold on to hope in him (Even If).

It hasn’t been what I would call an easy few years for me, friends moved on, life changed, health took a plunge and my connection to life has changed drastically. How do you find hope in what you know as your world – which just crumbles in front of you? You’re told you’re bad, you’re told your stupid, and told your health is crumbling – Diabetic, High Cholesterol, Dangerously High Blood Pressure – and let’s not leave out a business which has had its share of dings. Where do you find hope?

Honestly, I’d love to write that I was the good Christian boy, that I said “Yay God!” in all moments, but I’m not. I’m human. I’m flawed. I made choices, which brought me to this day where I am right now. And what can I say today after these hard years and maybe more hard years to come? God is Love, and in His Love, there is hope.

Today I write not hiding behind some magical and happy life that I post daily on Social Media that is fake, today I write as a guy who’s fighting uphill to get where God would have me. Not where I’d like to be always, but taking that step into the fire knowing that he won’t let me get burned, but I may feel a little heat, I may break a sweat, but even through all of this, through 400+ blood sugars, to heart rates that likely if had been higher would of sent me to a hospital, from fights in my marriage, fears in my child not coming into this world, to words spoken to me in “love” stabbing deeply and abandoning me – I’m still standing.

I may be light in a few areas of my life, I may not be driving a sports car, I may not have the supports or same outlook as to where my life was going, I’m standing.  I am watching a 3 yr old grow into an amazing life, I’m watching a marriage with fewer fights,  I’m seeing blood sugars lowering down to 110.  I’m seeing me stronger. Maybe not as quickly as some felt it needed to be, maybe not how quickly as it was supposed to be – but I’m human, I’m flawed.

2017 is quickly coming to an end and like Job the end of this tale where many times I feel like was told to “Curse God and Die” by so many areas of my life, I’m happy to report I did not, and I’m looking forward to restoration. To seeing how God can continue to redeem my life, redeem what I’ve lost even more. Yes I know so many of us can say we feel like Job – I know so many people I’ve talked to over the years have gone through their own Job Season – I think for many of us we do, not everyone does in this life and that’s one of those “Questions for Heaven” an old Pastor I knew used to talk about, but he also reminded us no matter the trial and tribulation we went through in this life, his God. My God. Is there besides us.

I’m thinking this will be my last post for 2017, I’m hoping to continue writing about my journey in 2018, but I’m going to focus my creativity, my energy, my life into building the things God’s laid in my lap these past few weeks, focus on exercise, on eating better, on building – so I wish you all who actually read this a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. See you in 2018.

Webhosting is a Blessing!

13 years and counting. Hard to believe that its only been 13 years! Feel like the spirit of what FlockHosting does has been around a lot longer! I started helping Christian bands ages ago my old friend Pete Prevost before he was in Sanctus Real was in a band called “Johnny Come Lately”, I remember all those years ago building a page for the payment of … Taco Bell.

Well in some ways not much has changed, FlockHosting is an act of love, hosting over 100+ churches (looking forward to doing more!), I have customers all over the world and others here at home!

I’ve been insanely blessed, sure I’d love to see it produce a bit more income, but when you hear things like this:

Thanks so much for providing this service, we’re seeing new people come to our church just because they could find us on the internet when they move to the area and see what we do. I hope God is blessing you in all the work you do. – Andy C.

Wow. Plain wow. This is what I’ve always wanted to see folks do with FlockHosting, sure I have Thrust Networks which is the real core company, it’s the LLC everything is under, and operates, but honestly I love doing this ministry to churches.

I want to grow FlockHosting even more, I’d love to see it really just spring into action but the world of Shared Hosting slows down, as more and more companies offer the design, hosting, etc. all in one price, and I don’t have 3,000 employees – but who knows maybe I can find a way like I mention in the recent FlockUpdate doing some design at affordable rates (not the $10,000+ you see some places) but keeping it affordable and looking good! So some challenges ahead!

God is Good, and just give Him the entire business to do with as He sees fit!

Being Still.

It’s not always easy to just let go, in the end it’s so much easier, but really who is ever still? This video is a great reminder and I sing it in the truck as Lilly sings along:

A powerful song by Jeremy Camp, the lyrics are beautiful and remind me that sometimes I just need to be still and let God be God.

The Lyrics:

“Be Still”

Lord help me now to face this battle
My strength has failed and my eyes can’t see
Through the waves of doubt that take me under
In the chaos I hear you speak

Be still and know that You are my God
Be still and know that You are enough
Though my heart is racing still You’re in control
Be still and know that You are my God

You brought me rest in times of struggle
I lay my head down at Your feet
The storm in me that I can’t wrestle
Is calmed when I hear you speak

You are faithful
And Your love endures forever
Yes, Your love endures forever
You are able
In You I’ll stand forever
Yes, in You I’ll stand forever
[x2]

Though my heart is racing still You’re in control. That’s something I lose site of too often, and sometimes I have to remind myself that indeed God is in control, and I need to let go of the reigns of my life and let Him lead where I don’t know to even tread. God is Good.
Be blessed folks! Thanks for reading!

Forward in Faith

I feel more and more lately like I need to be posting things, a lot going on in my mind, a lot going on in my heart – just seems to be a lot going on – but too there are things that seem to be attempting to steal my joy the last 24 hours alone.

Yesterday as I got ready for dinner with my parents, niece and girlfriend I saw emails from my debit card – it’s configured to alert me of transactions and when I saw amounts over $600… I got a little curious, and upon investigation over $900+ had been taken from my account, so I called up the card and disputed the charges and Zach from Debit Card support closed out my card, tagged the transactions and helped me out, even gave me a few pointers on getting things back to normal quicker, awesome support – but walked away smiling and not upset, listening to praise and worship most of the day, I was in a good mood and knew God had me squared away, even sent a nice fellow like Zach to make the process go smoother.

Today another bit of bad news, a flat tired on my passenger side – as I was backing out of my driveway to get to breakfast with my friend Dan I noticed I wasn’t rolling backwards smoothly, went back to my spot, got out – flat but honestly didn’t bug me a ton, I knew I could get a ride as we were going to carpool, but Dan even proceeded to help me jack up the car, get my spare on so I can get it taken care of later today – God still providing help thru my family (Dan is my brother from another mother) 😀

I’ve really been just focused on what God’s going to be doing, and I see clearly some of the things He has laid upon my heart, and I’m excited even while things like my finances, work, jobs, etc. all are coming crashing down on me, even those stresses I am smiling thru, because God has a plan, and even when things happen which are bad, God can use them for Good! Like Joseph he could of looked at all the things like being thrown in a hole, sold into slavery, thrown into prison as bad after bad after bad, but in the end it got him where God needed him – to server God and the people he loved!

To share a little of what I have on my heart and in my mind right now, I really want to try and put together a day of Praise and Worship here in Bakersfield, I want to get a park and a good venue as well as the musical acts locally of all styles to come and just flood a park area with awesome music, Christian Shop owners to come have booths to sell shirts, bibles, etc. etc. as well as churches to come out and represent with their booths and encourage folks to find local churches where they can worship and serve!

So thats just a taste, and I think I have some good ideas on where and how I can accomplish that! So excited to see what God will do in my life right now, and while there are waves all around me crashing down, and things that may for a moment take my view off Christ, I keep coming back to God and the things He is setting up to do in my life! Finances may be tight, tires may go flat, but if God’s called you to do something He will see you through all of the trials that may come your way, and all the attack the devil may try to hold you up with, but God is Good and will prevail!

I am pressing forward, I see things God is working in my life, and yes times may be hard now and again but even as my breakfast with Dan today we talked about the things in our own lives going on, we can’t stand still sometimes – so in many things I step forward in faith expectantly moving forward knowing God is going to do amazing things in my life and the lives of those I love!

Worship @ DC on Wednesday!
Worship @ DC on Wednesday!