God Only Knows!

I saw the news of this today earlier when FK&C posted on their Instagram linking to an article which leaked a 30-second clip preview – pretty awesome, but the song lately has really rung true with me, God really is one of the only ones who knows what I’m going through.

I find myself lately just not feeling great, tests pushed back, holding off on work, feeling bad, but in some cases, drugs don’t help – pain has been up a bit, even now I was nearly asleep – then just wham. Can’t get comfortable – I try to explain what I feel, but honestly sometimes I do feel alone in that maybe no one understands it – but then two thoughts hit me: 1) I don’t fully understand why I feel bad, and 2) God knows exactly what is going on – and the last few days I just haven’t really listened to those two things, I know I need to trust God but when the world is just madness around you, and you feel like you can’t accomplish anything – just feel defeated.

Today I got some mixed news, no PET scan but did meet with the oncologist who explained things aren’t reducing quickly, but they aren’t getting worse, and that the road for this isn’t likely to be weeks, but rather 6-12 months – I know this has never been a road that was well defined, but I keep trying to remain hopeful that it will be done soon, but as it stands, unless the PET scan shows a very different picture, the road is a bit longer still.

Hoping for a better day tomorrow. Going to try and get some sleep here soon again, maybe I just need a new bed? Better couch? A fancy massage chair? 😀 I appreciate everyone’s continued prayers, encouragement, and sometimes even just listening to me say I’m going to cheese bomb a place out of frustration (it sounds dangerous, but it’s actually in theory quite delicious, send Ritz Crackers) – but God has a plan for all of this, I don’t know it, I don’t understand it – but just have to keep remembering the promise that He knows.

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