Diabetic Road: First in a Journey

Everyone has their journey in life. But sometimes you just need to read something that says “Okay, I’m not completely crazy.” because in a trip like this, sometimes you may feel like you are, so I’m going to post at least once a week from now on regarding my journey with diabetes.

So about four years ago I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. I went to see my new GP, and in checking my A1C, it was off the charts. Bad. Like really bad. So, of course, what does he say? Very just matter of fact:

You are a diabetic. Check your sugars. Take care.

You may say “Oh come now, it wasn’t that bad – it was. He sent me off with a followup appointment, but with no tools to check my sugar. No meter. No supplies. Nothing. Not even a prescription for Metformin the grand-daddy of sugar drugs. Nothing.

So I left the office, I didn’t think, I just got the word that my life was changed, I had diabetes. 

After I spoke with my Wife about it, I called back, asked how I was to check my sugar, and the nurse simply confused said: “You don’t have a meter?” I didn’t; I explained I didn’t know I was a diabetic. All of this was new, and she told me to come in, and she gave me a meter, walked me through using everything and that was that, as it turns out for me, that was also the last for that doctor as my GP.

It may have been rash, it may have been maybe the worst choice I could have made, but honestly, I never felt more abandoned by the person I entrusted my health and wellness to than I did by this guy, so I moved onto my Wife’s GP.

Now with my Wife’s GP, she was a big “test for everything” person, I don’t personally like that approach, I know my sugars sucked, so she got me on metformin, and it sucked. Hard. Bad. [insert word of choice for not fun that you can think of here].

I have not been a big taker of medications in my life, the one time I could remember (well what I could remember) was after a car accident, and I’m missing about one day of time from the meds I took. So meds tend to hit me hard. Metformin did not do well.

I went through Metformin, Glipizide, and Onglyza all on samples, never finding a med that worked 100% of the time and since Metformin didn’t sit well it wasn’t a matter of stacking and getting better results with meds working together, it was one different one each time.

I hit the spot where honestly, my wife’s GP wasn’t cutting it. Appointments were 2-3 hours before you were even seen, it made work hard to keep up with since there was zero internet access in the bowels of the building – it wasn’t working so what did I do? The best I could.

Watched what I ate, got a Walmart Brand ReliOn meter and strips (which were all obtainable without dealing with a pharmacy, just visit your local Walmart) and did what I could to avoid tons of sugar, throw some exercise in there, and eat well.

Life threw in stresses, life dealt me blows here and there – but fast forward years I hit a snag. My sugars were terrible after getting through some insane months of extreme work hours both at the desk & outside building and fixing up two houses.

It left me with some spikes which led my wife to finally make the call and say “I’m worried about my husband” to a local Endocrinologist’s office which took me in rather quickly for some workups, got blood work and we got to work.

We’ve done some working on things. Currently, he’s attacking several factors. We’ve tried Glyxambi, Metformin (no side effects this time around), Jardiance, and others, but we’ve hit snags with injectables like Trulicity. It affected my mood (I think it was too aggressive on sugars and my body not used to significant lows, acted out) and BCise currently but I think it’s causing more bad than good – so may go soon.

Sadly I did have to make my way to insulin because they felt the numbers were jumping around too much, from higher spikes near 300, but then strange lows like 116! It’s an odd thing blood sugar as I could take blood from the same prick and have a difference of 40 points, so they gave me a new meter, same thing.

This week has been an odd one, and as the BCise has started to come off and I approach another day to inject tomorrow. I’m going to call in and see if they think its wise.

I’ve had a pain in my gut on the injection site and its similar to what they say about the side effects is a bad thing, but as it’s come down to today. With the Toujeo its been in the 130-ish range, so I am going to stay at that dose tonight of 12 units and see if it does the job still off the BCise more or less.

I don’t know if you are reading this looking for a similar story, or help in determining if a drug is right for you/wrong for you – I’m just going to document my journey here on out. Stick around; I hope I can keep this going into a battle end with Type 2 and get out from under it.

Be strong!

Creating Something

Lately that itch is back. That desire to create. That desire to make something. My garage isn’t setup just yet after the move last year, it’s more of a storage room at the moment (not even for a car!) but I find myself wanting to create and I was really digging creating the latest FlockHosting website:

I did that! Been a while since I really felt a good design groove and really came together nicely I felt! Now I just wish I had other areas to really build and make things right now but just feel like even with the next site I’m stuck:

The top slider is a demo slider as I have no content beyond building out a header area which has some issues with the responsive side as it makes two hamburger buttons on either side of the logo – but that’s not impossible to fix + put in a mobile all in one nav.

All in all, I just want to create! I have this itch now and again but lately seem to be in a slump of actually moving into something to get it done.

For now, I get to go gas up the truck, get meds, and needles. Also hoping the postal service somehow amazingly processed mail from another city and got it here in one day… a dream – but hey I can hope!

Health, Life, Business

13 days till the big upgrade, not really looking forward to it, nor dreading it – it’s gonna happen whether I like it or not 🙂

I have had a rough week. My sugars aren’t leveling out and doc officially added insulin to the mix. Not something I had desired honestly. Tonight is the first night that I’ve increased my dosage from 10units -> 12 units as 10 units wasnt’t cutting it, so slowly on-boarding to find a dose that works – I am honestly thinking it’ll end up being 11, but time will tell, as 3 days with 10 no luck, now onto 12 for 3 days. Here goes nothing.

Life is crazy, made it though V-Day, both gals in my life were very happy with my flowers, I will admit while the wife enjoyed the flowers, the daughter went maybe a tad crazier over a giant red tulip 🙂 She’s three and excited 🙂

Business is blah. Just a lot of stress lately with cash-flow, I hate it when customers seem to have more power than I do. I have one who is 3 weeks of payments behind, I do contract administration for them and in some cases its 4 payments before I get the payments that as they were set up were meant to be delivered weekly – that’s only happened a few times.

Too business in general just in a slump, trying to stay positive, but when you throw in crappy blood sugar, negative nancy’s who aren’t pro no need for insulin, it’s not been a good balance of good/bad in life lately, seems like a lot of bad.

For now, I am going to try and take it easy the remainder of this evening, I do have a server reboot for a customer in about an hour, but I’ve taken my insulin, still need to take my other nightly meds before I crash out, but after 11, I think its going to be a quick translation from Chair -> bed.

Firming up Brands

One thing I’ve had over the years is a hodgepodge of interfaces to interact with customers. Dropbox to share a file, CloudApp to share a screenshot/video/etc – and the list could go on of 3rd Party Tools I’ve used to share a link which doesn’t bare my brand(s).

Now Thrust Networks I had previously done some work and CloudApp has a paid tier in which I got a custom URL, which was awesome. Having my logo at the top was great, but two things:

  1. Cost
  2. Can’t Have Two URL’s

And while FlockHosting tends to be more active to re-brand all Thrust Networks stuff over, just didn’t really work – so enter some great tools which have allowed me to really work on having some resources to bring things together!

Dropbox Replacement: NextCloud

It’s free. A great first start, but the sync clients for desktop/tablet/phone are a great addition! It’s awesome to share a file from my own URL, my own branding – the install is simple and on my servers, it runs smoothly, did two customer screencasts today to help with customer issues, and honestly, it was as simple as saving to a folder on my computer and tada. Online.

CloudApp Replacement: Dropshare

This one is great it came with Setapp and does a great job even more so than the replacement idea of Nextcloud for Dropbox, because there I have 2 installs for customer files on TN & FH – so two copies to keep up (but the app syncs both!) this is no server software, its all app.

I have 3 profiles set up one for Generic, FH, and TN – And I can easily switch between accounts to upload screenshots, short clips, etc. very very very handy.

Overall I’m really hoping to build out more tools, and yes while sometimes others have built it and its easier to just sign-up, these tools have added value & saved me money.

My New Friend: Trello

For a while now a few friends have included me on Trello boards and honestly? I never got it. It was unfamiliar and at the time, I just plain and simple did not have the time to sit and sort it out?

So what’s changed? Honestly? 2018 is here, and I’m trying hard to organize a bit more. I finally decided to look at the tool that folks say help do just that, and I’ve taken time to sit down and give it a fair shake as it seemed like a favorite tool and had benefits, but now it was time to test that idea.

So I sat down and made my first board. Just a brain dump as I’d call it, just a LOT of ideas in one spot that had no organization, so went from there to sort it out into various lists to contain the cards and my big board is born. Awesome.

It’s been a process for over a week but now working on other boards from core ideas born from this dump of information, for instance just put a teaching idea from the lists to a fresh list called “Reviewed/Done” which has it’s own board now.

Honestly a great workflow, just wish IFTTT or Zapier had a link in enough to tie in Todoist into deadlines, would be great for that time management part, but will see this week and next how its deadlines option works, but for the most part going to at least work to create a flow in IFTTT for anything put in a “In Progress” list it will create some sort of daily/weekly Todoist check-in notice.

For now, I need food; I should probably put in a daily reminder for that as I keep forgetting to eat! But hopefully, this new tool will help bring some great ideas to life!

New Year, New Directions

So here we are nearly a month down and a lot has gone on, tried a new med or two in the diabetic world, Trulicity is the latest which has had some mixed results, but I am down 10lbs in 2 weeks… so if nothing else it was great for weight loss!

I am once again sitting on the edge of “Where do I go from here?” in the realm of tech. Mac world is really not something I find myself saying “Oooo let’s go buy a new laptop!” nor desktop, nor really any Mac device, it just seems “bleh” to me, and yet the thing that really has caught my eye is Chromebook once again. Writing this post on an ASUS C200M which has Android apps which amazingly lets me do things like JuiceSSH and Slack – so very nice, may invest later this year in a more modern non-beta based Chromebook (Samsung’s Chromebook Pro maybe…)

And business-wise, still in limbo when it comes to a steady job, this past week I had the talk again about getting hired, supposed to have folks get back to me on Monday with more, and the position may be something that has grown as a few other people at the company are gone and I might be required to fill in a few more pairs of boots, so we shall see how that goes.

But things are in motion hopefully for a BIG February, the big 38 this year, and already trying to build up some hype with one of my yearly specials for FlockHosting, but too I am hoping to launch FlockHosting.com’s update as well as get something simple online for Thrust Networks before I turn 38, the two sites need facelifts, and I hope to get things rolling on them soon.

Really thinking 2018 will be a big year of change. Not just a feeling of “hope” but a feeling of desire to have some things change up, really be a big different year. I want lots of good things, many blessings and a lot of growth.

For now? Back to fixing a slew of issues for customers that happened yesterday while I was down sick. Happy 2018 all.

Hope.

Lately, in this wacky world we live in, I don’t see a lot of hope. Some blame our president, some blame a skin color, some blame God, some blame the person next to them. Honestly? It’s my fault. It’s your fault. We have all lost hope.

Our previous president was embodied as “Hope” – it was hope for change, it was hope for the future. For many of his followers, that hope he created, quickly went away when he left office, but after all, things said and done he was and is just a man. If you misplaced hope in someone who could fail. Who had a limited time in power, who may of went left instead of sticking right, we’re all human! It happens.

Do you want to see a better world? Want to see things better? Don’t expect the current president to fix it for you. He isn’t your hope, nor is he your destroyer. He’s a man. Flawed, broken, and too is going to make good things, and bad things. Not here to debate what he’s done good or bad – because as with anyone on the left, right or middle can say about ANY president – but Trump isn’t my hope nor was Obama.

Lately, I find myself looking for hope in what intake into my mind, my heart, my life. From stories to music, and I find myself in stories of hope, all of which start with us looking to the light, not towards the dark – that never-ending battle of good over evil. The Machine vs. Samaritan (Person of Interest), Kevin doing for others (Kevin Probably Saves the World), Crowder singing about where his hope is in the song above, to Mercy Me telling us in the dark, we can hold on to hope in him (Even If).

It hasn’t been what I would call an easy few years for me, friends moved on, life changed, health took a plunge and my connection to life has changed drastically. How do you find hope in what you know as your world – which just crumbles in front of you? You’re told you’re bad, you’re told your stupid, and told your health is crumbling – Diabetic, High Cholesterol, Dangerously High Blood Pressure – and let’s not leave out a business which has had its share of dings. Where do you find hope?

Honestly, I’d love to write that I was the good Christian boy, that I said “Yay God!” in all moments, but I’m not. I’m human. I’m flawed. I made choices, which brought me to this day where I am right now. And what can I say today after these hard years and maybe more hard years to come? God is Love, and in His Love, there is hope.

Today I write not hiding behind some magical and happy life that I post daily on Social Media that is fake, today I write as a guy who’s fighting uphill to get where God would have me. Not where I’d like to be always, but taking that step into the fire knowing that he won’t let me get burned, but I may feel a little heat, I may break a sweat, but even through all of this, through 400+ blood sugars, to heart rates that likely if had been higher would of sent me to a hospital, from fights in my marriage, fears in my child not coming into this world, to words spoken to me in “love” stabbing deeply and abandoning me – I’m still standing.

I may be light in a few areas of my life, I may not be driving a sports car, I may not have the supports or same outlook as to where my life was going, I’m standing.  I am watching a 3 yr old grow into an amazing life, I’m watching a marriage with fewer fights,  I’m seeing blood sugars lowering down to 110.  I’m seeing me stronger. Maybe not as quickly as some felt it needed to be, maybe not how quickly as it was supposed to be – but I’m human, I’m flawed.

2017 is quickly coming to an end and like Job the end of this tale where many times I feel like was told to “Curse God and Die” by so many areas of my life, I’m happy to report I did not, and I’m looking forward to restoration. To seeing how God can continue to redeem my life, redeem what I’ve lost even more. Yes I know so many of us can say we feel like Job – I know so many people I’ve talked to over the years have gone through their own Job Season – I think for many of us we do, not everyone does in this life and that’s one of those “Questions for Heaven” an old Pastor I knew used to talk about, but he also reminded us no matter the trial and tribulation we went through in this life, his God. My God. Is there besides us.

I’m thinking this will be my last post for 2017, I’m hoping to continue writing about my journey in 2018, but I’m going to focus my creativity, my energy, my life into building the things God’s laid in my lap these past few weeks, focus on exercise, on eating better, on building – so I wish you all who actually read this a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. See you in 2018.

Carrots

So, I have been craving carrots lately. I may be turning orange.

Aside from that, a busy week! Seems like I’d slow down only to go go go again. Even today, it was one of those days where it started off slow, then just never stopped. From it? Got some hours in for consulting gig + 3 possible projects in the coming weeks! So hopefully things pan out.

2018 may bring a full-time gig in addition to my business, and I think I’m good with that, just as long as it actually pans out, and is very solid.

Even if it isn’t there is a possible option for a new server customer too I may be getting, which would be cool, server customers slowed down this year – but hoping to really bump things up in 2018.

For now, a busy week has started winding down, take some meds and head to chill out in bed!

Sick to save a buck!

So not feeling too great today, did manage to still make a call I had, which something about being in tech mode another part of my brain takes over and just goes without delay – wish it worked that way everyday lol. But seems the Jr. Burger Lilly didn’t eat last night was what threw me over the edge – but I saved that money. 😀

Woke up around 630 feeling horrible, didn’t leave the bathroom until maybe 8 am, then passed out for an hour or two, was not a fun morning, but hoping things improve!

Today really focusing a bit on my own projects. Work lately has been slow, mainly because when you take nearly 2 months off to move – folks can’t find you and find other options, so hoping I can really dial things back in, get my own projects rolling to improve finances, but tomorrow once I feel better and can talk “job”, I hope to nail down some job options.

I love working in my own business, but I have applied a few places here and there trying to nail down some steady work, like a 9-to-5, but if I can get my own projects rolling, invest real time into them, might be able to get things rolling without it.

For now, back to resting.

The other side of posting…

So here we are, a year of posting is done, granted it wasn’t 100% a solid day-for-day year, but it’s done.

Excited day for me, seeing even lower blood sugar today, and yet tomorrow is the big day in which I go from the base dosage of the new med to the full dosage. 10mg -> 25mg – If I’ve seen a HUGE drop in sugar already should be interesting to see how a full dosage leaves me, will it be like coming off a drug (sugar) for so long my body is in “normal” ranges might be rough for a few days.

I have a meeting on Monday that should give me some direction for 2018 I hope, some projects to take on for a company I’ve been doing work for, should have more direction after a call tomorrow I hope. Then again, their track record sadly it may not ever happen – so not completely holding my breath.

It’s also another day switched over to Android (S8+) vs my previous iPhone 7+ – I’m pretty happy so far, I’ll feel a bit more confident once my screen protector and case come in, as it stands a tad slippery for my tastes, but aside from that the phone performs pretty well. I do miss Stripe having an app, but not a show stopper as I made some rules to send my phone a notification when payments come in which will work same as the email but more in real-time.

So things are moving forward, again don’t think I’ll do a PS: subject any longer, but my goal is to try and make a post daily.