PS:110 – Need to feel inspired.

Lately, I don’t feel inspired. I feel pretty low. Some insanely difficult weeks ranging from personal to business, kiddo health, lack of sleep – you name it. It’s been difficult, and I get bursts of inspiration, but I just don’t have that “Conquer the world!” feel. I feel like I can’t even take a nap right.

One thing that inspires me a little is a vlogger named Casey Neistat, he recently talked on his vlog about following your dreams, not too shabby of a vlog, take a peek (some mild language, easily offended tread lightly):

This guy has some things I like, like drones. I was into it then he got into it, and it makes me go “WOW!” when he flies it around NYC! Impressive.

I want more positive in my life. More push that says “You can!” not “You can’t!” – I want that drive that says “You’ve made it, keep making it, grow it, build it, make it happen.”

Now Casey is one of those guys who helps me not give into that old TV Sitcom idea that “You give up when kids come” he has two kids, one which is little! And yet this guy has taken his daughter all over the world with him; he stays tuned with her over FaceTime when anywhere!

I want to grow. I want to just take off my business; sure it’s hosting, but I want it to be something bigger. I want to have the ability to load up the fam and go ANYWHERE and be blessed to have that fun and connections to companies, deals, things that are just me linked up and a valuable person!

I know I have value to some folks; I know I’ve made a change in lives around me, I know that in hosting folks in the past week have written some awesome things like:

I pastor a small church and thanks to Flock Hosting we are able to have some big church functionality! You folks are a real blessing!

It’s awesome that I do make a difference, but I want to feel like I’m moving forward, building, growing, and making more and more of an impact. I want to grow. Got a video or blogger that inspires you? Comment or email me and let me know!

PS:100 – A hundred days.

100 days since I started this. A lot has happened since the start of this year, and this year is barely getting started.

I am tired. Insanely tired. I feel like work never stops, like battles never end, like I can’t get ahead of the mountain of bad, no matter how much good I throw at it. No matter how much I strive to create, things fail, no matter how much I love, it falls short. I’m tired of losing.

Changes are underway to try and create. To build. To mend. But it never seems to get traction. Like a truck in a runaway truck ramp, you can put as much pressure on the pedal to move, and you just go deeper and deeper.

What do I want to see the next 100 days present on this blog? Change. Growth. Traction. I want to see things improve vs. continue to go down. I want to create and inspire; I want to see my life mean something to people, that my words, my creations, my life shine through what God can do with a broken down old 36-year-old.

I want to find hope again. Not this slowly fading candle of hope I’ve hung on to that says “don’t let me go out!” I want to let it burn out; I want to live and have a renewed joy, renewed peace, renewed hope. I want not just to fake it trying to make it, but actually, honestly make it.

Change is coming. Just got to let the one who can do something with this broken lump of goo, work. Move over Chuck, let’s let life begin.