PS:335 – Dental Day… Bleh.

Today was a day of dental work. I went in for a consult on my tooth pain to find that something I’ve been saying to 2 previous dentists, as well as my current, was true: My Tooth is Cracked.

Well, the specialist confirmed it, of course correcting me on where the crack was, and the bummer news that the nerve was dying a slow and painful death thus the reason for my some-days-pain.

So today was a root canal. I’ve had one before which wasn’t bad, but this time…. ouch. ouch. ouch. Not fun, apparently I had “two canals” in which he found one hiding behind some bone? Unless I heard him wrong. At some point I’ll be honest I was in so much pain – I cried and was ready to run away.

I survived, in fact just took my heavy hitter pain meds, so far so good, still feeling pain, but I figure at least a full 30 before they even begin to take a dent off, but the hope is it’ll let me get back to sleep.

Still, need to get a crown on it, for now, just want to rest and try and if possible get some work done. Lots to do, and I know I should rest, but just that need to knock some things off the to-do list.

Who knows maybe this weekend I’ll be running smoothly, or at least getting some much-needed rest. Night all.

PS:329 – Brief Pause

So here we are at the end of a crazy week, another is ahead and today after a rough day with little sleep…. I get a brief pause.

Lately, with all I’m hoping to accomplish before summer is done, it has been nothing but go go go. Picking up projects, not saying “Well… not really” because let’s be honest – I’m tired of second guessing myself in what I’m capable of doing.

I’ve made some investments in my future, really working to grow, build, expand, save.  I also have a kid who may want to go to college – or a world wide tour of every Zoo. Too soon to tell at 2.99 yrs old. How time flies.

So tonight, as I’ve slept most of the afternoon that I could, I am going to try and be in bed no later than 3 AM. Have to be at Costco at noon for a cake, likely do digital service from a live stream somewhere here in town (or get wild and maybe a Church Hoster’s service! Be at the in-laws by 1, small party for LG after which she’ll probably just keep partying with Grandparents.

For now, going to sip a tea blend I made (3 black, 2 mint, 1 fenugreek) – tastes good so far! Have a happy Sunday All.

PS:304 – Really? That’s 2 months?

How is it that here we are with nearly 2 months out of the year already?! I wish it was something more exciting to show for it thus far but really, it’s another month of exhaustion, stress, and a 2.5 year old who believes everything is hers! (Okay okay.. it is! But don’t tell her!)

Got the last of the my tax forms I think, still find it funny that some companies do give me a 1099, others don’t. Varies on the companies, but since being a LLC I get fewer, that’s nice, but I’d like to have taxes done and sorted by mid-march, likely going to have to do quarterly starting this year possibly, don’t want to. But should.

If I trusted an accountant, I’d go that route, but I can’t say any other businesses in town that have given me great confidence in an accountant, but maybe it’s the year to look into it and maybe even find someone outside of town who’s familiar with my industry who can really help chisel out a better plan.

Just moved this site to a new server for blogging, this is going to be my private one for assorted blogging projects, so a few more to move over and start some serious dev on over the next 3 months as that’s my personally slated deadline as some of these I want to draw some passive income if possible!

I got my comment from my mystery commenter who I have a rough idea who it is, but let’s not call out a loyal reader 🙂 but exercise is in my plan for the next 3 months too! So much to do, so little time though! You try running after a small girl who thinks its funny to run down the halls at target screaming 🙂 (sorry if anyone of you hear that, she’s excited!)

For now, off to get some more things going! Night all!

PS:247 – Must…

I’ve been asked many a time “How do you stay awake and functional even though you don’t sleep?” well honestly? I just have to, I must. I’ve stayed awake days, weeks, months in some cases because I must. Yes I said months, but I guess I simply compare it to that I don’t get an average week of sleep, or night, so for a month I may function on maybe 2-4 hours a night (at best) even as of late, sleep is minimal, there is work to be done.

Day two of this week and things are piling up, and yet I just really want to take a break. Being a dad, husband, business owner, takes a lot of your time. Never doing any of it exactly right, but doing my best! Occasionally I get to do something like fire-off something on the 3D Printer, I miss a functional piano, I have a keyboard but I’d love to get some praise and worship coming out of these fingers vs. just typing code, fixing WordPress, etc.

I do it, because I must.

PS:153 – Saturday

I have to take a break. I need a break. I’m going to take one. Train to LA then SD, praying somewhere in there rest will come. I’m insanely tired. Leave tomorrow at 3:45AM to drop off a card at my parents, on the road by 4:30 at the absolute latest, then a quick drive to get the train and pray I can rest some on route to LA with maybe a kiddo sleeping on me.

Happy Father’s day tomorrow. Hope everyone has a good one!

PS:100 – A hundred days.

100 days since I started this. A lot has happened since the start of this year, and this year is barely getting started.

I am tired. Insanely tired. I feel like work never stops, like battles never end, like I can’t get ahead of the mountain of bad, no matter how much good I throw at it. No matter how much I strive to create, things fail, no matter how much I love, it falls short. I’m tired of losing.

Changes are underway to try and create. To build. To mend. But it never seems to get traction. Like a truck in a runaway truck ramp, you can put as much pressure on the pedal to move, and you just go deeper and deeper.

What do I want to see the next 100 days present on this blog? Change. Growth. Traction. I want to see things improve vs. continue to go down. I want to create and inspire; I want to see my life mean something to people, that my words, my creations, my life shine through what God can do with a broken down old 36-year-old.

I want to find hope again. Not this slowly fading candle of hope I’ve hung on to that says “don’t let me go out!” I want to let it burn out; I want to live and have a renewed joy, renewed peace, renewed hope. I want not just to fake it trying to make it, but actually, honestly make it.

Change is coming. Just got to let the one who can do something with this broken lump of goo, work. Move over Chuck, let’s let life begin.

PS:70 – Health, 3D Printer or Drobo

The last few days I just hit rock bottom. Fried. Today has been a massive day of rest. Just doing nothing at all, Nada. Sleep has been the big thing, but sadly with my body just beyond exhausted I’ve done a lot of sleep. I could use a lot more as I feel like I’ve run a mile in quicksand. I am worn out, every joint hurts; body is swollen too. Took something for a headache and pain, hoping to return to sleep again soon.

Which leaves time to do research. I’ve been trying to increase my storage around here, over the years I’ve had some drives for storage, most ran non-stop and have since given up the ghost. A majority of things live online, my photo archive for one syncs up for my phones -> Dropbox & Google – however, my DSLR and Drone Footage both live in Photos on my Mac – so my next logical step is the Drobo. I’ve considered one over the years, but now the cost isn’t too shabby. Easily even using some spare drives I have could have 4-5TB of storage that’s RAID worthy.

Now on the other side of the coin, lately, I have my creative bug going. The Drone is great for the photography / outdoors fun, but creating is still on my docket. Thus, the desire of a 3D printer has led me to a few options under $500 which if I saved up, or splurged after taxes, would allow me to scratch the creative bug, and maybe to make some money in the process. Some great communities online and YouTube channels which have provided a slew of information – very nice stuff.

So that’s where I’m at, 3D Printing = Fun, Relaxing, a touch of profit, or productivity with more storage for archived videos and such on the Drobo side. Honestly? Leaning towards fun. Just haven’t had enough of that in the past month, insanely exhausted or maybe I’ll just forget both of them and get Lilly a Pony 🙂

Hope you all had a great Easter, be blessed. Till tomorrow!

PS:63 – Still Posting Something

I confess I sometimes write the post a day ahead. But lately, it’s start writing or I forget entirely. For instance, this one is started, but as a network hardware order side tracked me. So started out good, then got sidetracked into Monday.

I enjoy writing. I do. Grammarly has helped some of my bad habits, but as I type like I talk, that’s bound to be full of grammatical errors galore! Get the red pen out! None the less, even more so this weekend with a new big desk to stretch out and WORK on, I find myself trying to hone my workspace.

A few things I want to add to the desk is a 2nd monitor. Right now I use the laptop + 27in but in searching for an affordable (re: the same deal I got on this 27in, which seems impossible), I found in the Target ad, a 40in Magnavox TV for $199. A 27in screen costs $287 for the LED Acer model I have. Oi! 40in is a LOT of desk space no matter if it is an LED lol.

Something else I’d love on my desk is a 3d printer. Oi. That would be fun, relaxing, and neat to play with, but at even the lowest entry point of $100 (for a pre-order) is nothing special. I’d LOVE to add Replicator Mini, it’s a fantastic looking unit, but let’s be honest – I don’t “need” it, and I think with the drone purchase I’ve capped myself for a short while on big purchases. Maybe once the full-time gig is settled and in place for a few months, maybe. Even then, already trying to put a little away for Ms. Lilly for the future.

This week a lot to do. I’ve thought about digging in right now but honestly I need time to relax. I haven’t even gotten out to fly the drone and try out the new filters or blades, I really want to get out and do a flight, but honestly so much stress I just need to attack it. First thing in the AM is a HUGE to-do list, including TFH. I am going to start writing actively in WordPress, going to get a few security add-ons and SEO plugins all lined up so I can build things out really nice, then my biggest step after that – Theme. Oi!

There’s a lot more going on behind the scenes, and one day it will be something I add to post something, but for now as I can’t even squeeze in two a day (going to try!) I am going to get some more rest under my belt and maybe get this ol body working for me not against me again!

Have a great week! For those on Spring Break, Relax! Enjoy! I’ll be working enough this week for all of us 🙂

PS:55 – The Weekend

For most the weekend is that time where you relax, spend time with family, do things around the house and maybe if funds allow – venture out!

However for me, I don’t have a traditional weekend. A lot of it is catching up on sleep. Occasionally something fun, but the majority? Rest. Okay and some work sprinkled in.

Things in life are never easy. The dream of a weekend is something that’d be nice, but, for instance, today things on my docket:

  • Rest
  • Cleaning
  • Domain issue with a long time customer
  • Fixing a Laptop
  • Customer Requests/Issues
  • Hydrating
  • Admin Job (still waiting on full time)
  • I’d say drone, but not sure that’ll happen (the weather)

Non-stop. I am trying to knock things down and get my to-do list down to a manageable level. Sadly when work crops up, I can’t say no, because No means “We’ll find someone else” – the joys of a self-owned business. I used to joke Tim was my boss, but sadly I have over 200 bosses who at anytime can come calling.

Even yesterday I got an email which at first glance seemed like a loss of business, however – it’s growth. In 3 weeks I have a migration for a sizeable local customer which leaves very little (read: none) area for error. So in 3 weeks I’m not going to be resting again lol.

Today I am going to do as much as I can to simplify things here around the computer – I am going to knock things down while finishing up the work, then hopefully a long, long, long, long nap. Got to get this old body some rest before it gives out.

Hope everyone reading is well. Keep on praying for me; I really need it.